Tuesday, December 06, 2005
rem yq once told me some yrs back dat she lyked the song. i lyk it too, mayb cos i din expect kate winslet to b able to sing. haha but anw, i'v altho i'v been contemplating the possibility of asking for another chance, i think i have no courage to do it. if i leave it lyk it is right now, i noe for sure that besides an ocassional head-turning n asking
"what if", i'd b alright. BUT if i ask n the answer is "no", i'm afraid it'll b much harder to pick myself up.
mr yong once gave us a list of quotes (i 4got why) n my fav one is:
"Let me win. But if i cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt."i'm sorry to say i'm not brave enuf, so i guess the only way i can go is to walk away n not run on the spot anymore.
wo mei xing xin neng bang ni ba shi qu de gan jue zhao hui lai.~~*
my dad n bro left for a 3-wk vacation in switzerland late last nite. as i stood at the airport, watching my sis hug my bro with tears in her eyes, i suddenly wondered who i'd miss more. altho my dad usually leaves home early in the morning n returns q late at nite so i seldom get to spend much time with him, i love my dad alot. i cant imagine life without my dad's nagging, boisterous laughter, n the silly things he says to make us all wan to roll on the floor laughing. my bro irritates me sumtimes, but recently i think we'v grown closer n i'v learnt to appreciate my bro by acting stupid n playing arnd with him, teasing him for still being shorter than me while i still have the chance (i hate to admit it, but i think i'll b the shortest among my siblings :( so sad), calling him "sucker" n "loozer" cos he calls me dat too.
anw i cant believe i had to tell my mum to hug my dad b4 he left. i noe my bro's her bao bei er zi, but my dad's her husband! growing up, i'v always wondered y 2 married ppl stay together as the yrs pass. is it for love, or is it for the kids, or even mayb for some other superficial reason? or mayb it's not really love, but the feeling is sth more towards dependence on each other? lyk the wife depends on her husband to bring most of the money home, while the husband depends on his wife to wake him up every morning to a hot cup of coffee on the table? it's just as if one is a money-making machine, n the other is an alarm clock cum coffee-maker. but i wldnt noe the answer til i'm married with kids for 20-odd yrs :)
there were times when i wasnt sure how i felt towards my family, esp when things werent going well in my family. but now when i'm almost 20, i noe v clearly dat i really love my family alot n when everything goes wrong, they r the pple who will stand by me amongst my wonderful frens. my mum sent me a msg earlier in the yr saying she wanted me to noe dat
"you will always have mummy to journey with you". dat's the nicest thing my mum can ever say to me. i'll keep dat msg for the rest of my life.
random thoughts at 9:46:00 PM
